- Being conscious that no one is perfect and that everyone needs a lot of practice to become good at something. Practice requires failure. Failure requires courage. Courage simply means being conscious of what could go wrong but believing you could conquer something... sooner or later!
- It's better to learn something late then never (a recent example for me: I just started to learn to keep my room organized. I have never been able to, and while I am not perfect I'm already a lot better at this then I was)
- A lot of quality time with friends and family, open heartedly discussing what goes on within you, has helped me a lot. Knowing that there are people who love me, who know me. Connecting to them in this way gives me a huge boost of self confidence. Hearing that they believe in me. Saying to them that it's sometimes hard, but that I will keep on going for it! Hearing that they love whatever happens. No substitute for that! (It's quite special to have such good relations with people, but I hope that if you have these people, treasure them, or invest in them! Or find them.)
- Have patience with yourself and focus on one issue at the time. All other issues should be irrelevant, something for later that you accept at the time. And have plenty of fun and relaxing time. You need that to be fit to conquer the issue you're focussing on.
For me, I've always see that I need a 3:1 ratio, or better, for positive:negative thoughts/experiences. If I have a 5:1 ratio, I am in a positive cycle and changing something is really easy. If I have a 1:5 ratio, then I can really get stuck and totally lose my self esteem.
It's not totally up to us to determine how this ratio is for use. There can be negative and stressful circumstances and events in our lives. But there are things that we can control and these are the number of goals we set for ourselves (which should never exceed 2, preferably 1 - I am talking about new goals, about changing stuff, which causes stress and perhaps shame and guilt) and the time and activities we allow ourselves to have fun and relax.
So, to summarize: for me, the keys are: reflection, courage, patience, meaningful relations with people (quality time), balancing and fun and relaxing.
Source: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=146704
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